I deleted my old avatar before adding a new one.... grrrrowl. Now Tblog is being its usual self and won't let me add the new one. I'm seriously considering jumping ship with Jennsabsent and Daisymae. Their new "blogger" site seems pretty cool.

Oh well. For now I'll suck it up and wait it out.

I drew Chinese calligraphy on my wrist today. (Beauty, Grace and Spirit.) I still really want a tattoo (not on my wrist... on my back) but I'm not sure if John will still take me. I'm not sure I'll have the nerve to go if an experienced tattoo-getter doesn't go with me. Eh. It's still something I really want.

Too bad I have to wait until after Spring Break. I'll be 18 in February but I don't want to run the risk of my parents KILLING me over Spring Break in Florida. It's the last time I'm GUARANTEED to be in a swimsuit around them. Bah. My age makes no difference to them... they have a huge issue with tattoos. I don't want anything huge... just something simple. Small. We'll see.

John's extremely confusing. He stopped by Mrs. Simon's room after school yesterday with Josh, just to say hi... (not necessari ly to me?) but I was gone already. (Mrs. Simon kicked me out of her room a half hour before class got out because Mrs. Herlocher came to talk to her about the All-Night Senior Party, and it's apparently confidential.) So I went home. And I'm confused because he knows that's where I'd be after school, so I don't know if he came because he wanted to see me or because he really was just stopping by.

Hurumph. I'm easily confused.

Can't let it bother me I guess. If we're meant to be together, we'll be together. If not... I guess I just keep living my life.

Don't I sound calm? It's an act, I assure you.

But the Something Corporate concert I went to last week was AMAZING. It was my first general admission concert ever, so I wasn't sure what to expect. It was so awesome... just standing there, that close to Andrew. (the lead singer.) He's had shaggy, curly brown hair for as long as I can remember... but he cut it and dyed it black and it was gorgeous. He was amazing... seeing somebody so into the music just blew me away. It was so intense watching him get so pumped that he jumped up on his piano and would just stomp around... he had so much energy and you could tell he was really feeding off the crowd. I got some guitar strings too. :D I would LOVE to go again.

They play at Clutch Cargo in Pontiac in the beginning of January. Maybe I can convince my mom to let me go. (Yeah... right.) But it's worth a try. I'd give so much to see them play again.

Sorry... no lyric again. Every song I listen to lately reminds me of John. I'm trying to block it all out.

The hardest was when "Hotel California" and "Wonderful Tonight" came on the radio the other night on the way home from my NHS Induction. I survived though... I guess that's all I can do.

Sorry that I worried some of you guys with that last post... I'm okay though. I just needed to let that out, and then I felt much better. I was just having a rough day.

Basketball was rough this weekend. One of my knees has no skin left on it, it's just a massive floor-burn, and the other knee is a combination floor-burn/bruise. Plus some other various bruises scattered around my arms and legs, and one on my hip. We lost both games, so I'm a little unhappy with that result... but I think we played pretty well against 2 very good teams, and I have to say I think we have a decent chance of winning our first district game against Gaylord. We'll see I guess.

Anyways, in a situation totally unrelated to anything I've talked about in this post or my last, I'm a little pissed. I don't want to get into it, but the basics are that I have something really exciting coming up, and people are trying to ruin it and make me feel guilty for wanting to enjoy it. I guess that sums it up... there's plenty more but it's not worth my time. I just wanted to do a mini-vent. (As opposed to the full-scale vent from my last post.)

Moving right along... this weekend was "Christmas" at my grandparents' house. It was pretty fun... they got me about $20 worth of film (both black & white and color) for my photography class. They're cute. My grandparents are really silly... they kept asking about John, which made me happy. He had to work and they were sad that they didn't get to see him before they leave for their vacation. Dinner was really good - a full turkey dinner complete with Yorkshire Pudding made by my mom and cranberry sauce. Yums... I can't wait until Thanksgiving!!

I'm going to put my "t0-d0" list on here so that I am somehow motivated to stop blogging and start working...

:arrow: Finish Hillsdale essay and application.

:arrow: Ask Mrs. Simon to write a letter of recommendation.

:arrow: Write sportsmanship essay and finish application for MHSAA Scholar-Athlete Award.

:arrow: Apply for the state coaches' softball scholarship.

:arrow: Check the CRC for more scholarship opportunities!

Quote/Lyric of the Blog:
"Senior Lauren Phelan sealed it as she grabbed a rebound off an Alpena miss, then calmly drained both free throws with 9 seconds left."
-the Petoskey News Review

"The play of the day goes to Lauren Phelan for sealing that victory... she grabbed a huge rebound and she performed well in the clutch for us."
-Coach Szajnecki's Quote in the Petoskey News Review

So out of all you bloggers out there, who expected "Saw" to be "Eeeek-Scary" based on the previews? It really wasn't, which disappointed me. It was more of an "Eeeeew-Gross". Focused more on disgusting graphics and such instead of making you scream. I still thought it was actually a pretty good movie though. Reminded me of the movie "Se7en" with Brad Pitt. Great movie also. But similar plot lines... the near obsessive detectives, the mysterious killings with a riddle behind each murder scene... an ending I NEVER saw coming. Crazy.

That was what I did with my night last night. I went to HuNan's with Stephanie and Gabe during 6th hour of school and had some yummy eats, and then I went home and hung out with John, and then the gang went to the movies. We took up more than an entire row in the theater, it was pretty funny. It was John, myself, Chrstina, Matt, Stephanie, Gabe, Katelin, Andrew, Emily and Tom. It's pretty much the same group that's coming to my Halloween party today. Christina, Matt, Stephanie and Gabe all bailed early on "Saw" though... the girls couldn't handle the gore and everything, so they took off and saw parts of "Shark Tales" and "Surviving Christmas". I really didn't think "Saw" was THAT graphic, but I understand why they left.

And so today is the Halloween party, and I don't have a clue what we're going to do. The only things I can think of for us all to do are the normal things we ALWAYS do when we're together. (Play pool, watch movies, play cards or Cranium or Mario Party...) I can't think of Halloweenish activites! It's driving me nuts! I mean honestly... with such a large group of people, what can you really do? Jackie and Geoffrey are supposed to be coming too... it's crazy I tell you! My parents have been really nice to pull off this whole thing... my mom's been baking and making dips for the last 2 days, and I feel sorta bad about her doing all that when I know she has stuff she'd MUCH rather be doing. I'm spoiled, what can I say?

I have so many pictures I took for my photography class that I want to share with you, but there's so many! Ahhh! This entry might be mighty long to fit all of these photos in. This is my first attempt at any real artistic photography, so bear with me... I know nothing about composition or any of that, and this was only my second roll of film. I'll post some of my first roll later... my baby cousin's birthday party. :D Those are pretty cute, but not at all artistic.

Oh, and one last thing. I've gotta post the new banner for my favorite band, Something Corporate. Their DVD, Live at Ventura Theater comes out November 11th, so reserve your copy now! (Plus give me some Street Team Points!) Click away!

These are the railroad tracks in Pennsylvania Park.

And here's some added bonus shots!

Matt and Christina... awwww aren't they cute?


Emily and Tom are cuties too!!

Quote/Lyric of the Blog:
All Apologies
I knew you were mad.    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;   
Don’t ask me why,

Here's how my day went yesterday:

:arrow: I usually get up for school at 6:00 AM and then leave for school at 7:30 to be on time. Yesterday I woke up at 7:20 because I had set my alarm for the right time, but never turned it on.

:arrow: Then I went to school and had my usual ho-hum day, complete with TR bugging me about some hockey game he wants me to go to with him. Wow. He cannot take a hint.

:arrow: After school I had an orthodontist appointment at 3:00. It was supposed to be over by 3:20, so as not to interfere with my 3:30 basketball practice. I got out of my appointment at 3:40, and by the time I got back to school and changed my clothes, I had missed half of practice.

:arrow: Because of this time I missed at practice, Coach told me that I won't be starting in the game tomorrow because I missed a "new play" that we're trying.

:arrow: Coach also made me stay after practice for 20 minutes and shoot with the new shooting machine to "make up" the time I missed. I had to shoot with Kelsie August. Enough said.

:arrow: Then I went to my chiropractor appointment, which supposedly started at 5:45. I didn't get IN to my appointment until 6:20, didn't get home until around 7:00 PM. Woohoo. What a day.

:arrow: Oh, and one more thing - I think I ruined yet another roll of film for my photography class. That's 3 outta 4, I'm still going strong!!

Hopefully today will be better. We have a basketball game against Cheboygen at home, and after school Katelin and I are going to Roast and Toast to get some eats. I also found out today that tomorrow we have a delayed start for school - classes don't start until 9:30 as opposed to 8:20. So maybe I'll get to have breakfast with John! That'd be spiffy. Oh, and John's coming to my basketball game in Gaylord on Thursday! I'm so excited... he's had to work almost every Tuesday and Thursday this season, so it's been forever since he's seen me play. Yay!!

Have you ever had a really bad feeling about something, and then it turns out you were right? That's the feeling I got before our basketball game on Thursday in Cadillac. Everyone was screwing around and acting retarded before the game... I forgot my shoes and socks, and had to borrow some from Britney Gengle... everyone was eating insane amounts of food... Jackie and Jill wore wigs out onto the court... (which was hilarious, but when you put all of the bad things together, it becomes much clearer that we were not prepared for that game at all.) Myself included.

So I had a terrible feeling about playing, and surprise, surprise, we lost. But not only that... we were losing by 20 points within the first 4 minutes of the game. (We ended up losing by about that much.) And to make things worse... I hurt my knee about 2 minutes into the second half of the game and had to come out.

I love my knee. :roll: I found out from Patty (our trainer) yesterday that I have a stretched LCL and a minor hyperextension. w00t. This sucks. I couldn't do any sprinting (which includes live scrimmage) at practice yesterday, so I spent the whole time using the new shooting machine we have. It was boring as hell. Basically, this machine is just a large net that catches your shots and throws balls at you. It's tiring and montonous. I was so sick of it by the end of practice I wanted to break the damn thing. Hopefully Patty decides to let me play today. That'd be much nicer.

Homecoming was pretty good though. Friday was blue and white day, which I was pleased with the turnout at school. A lot of people decked themselves out, which was fun. Our football team lost, which wasn't surprising (they played TC West, who are undefeated) and the king and queen were Mark Downey and Sarah Lewis. I was happy about Mark, but with Sarah, not so much. I mean I give the girl credit - she's good at EVERYTHING. She's drum major for the band, she runs cross country, she's national honor society, etc.... she probably in that respect deserved to win, but for some reason she comes off as arrogant and snotty to me. Like she thinks she's better than everyone. I don't know. Homecoming king and queen aren't life and death.

The dance was pretty cool. I had a minor misunderstanding with John in the car, but it turned out fine. He gave me a hug and I felt much better. LoL I thought he told me "Stop being a bitch." but he said "You're standing on our picture." Those are slightly different... It was hilarious. He looked so confused when I got upset.

We took lots of pictures and had a good time. Pizza Hut was fun for dinner. It was packed, but it was pretty cool. John's family happened to be there the same time as us with his little sister, so we said hello to them. They're way too nice to me. I love them. We went to his grandma's house too for pictures... she has the cutest dog!! A Boston Bull Terrior named Baxter. I wanted to stuff him in my coat and take him home with me. :D LoL His grandma is a sweet lady.

We stood in line for the dance for about an hour, which sucked, but the dance itself was good. I had a good time with John. There weren't many slow dances which made me sad, but I think he had fun too. I had a great time with my friends (Katelin, Andrew, Matt, Christina) and it was a lot of fun at Katelin's house too, when Gabe and Steph showed up. They brought SO MUCH food and it was all delicious. And the boys played paper plate frisbee until about 5:00 AM, which was hilarious. They were definately on a sugar high. It was great.

And now it's back to the old ho-hum life post-homecoming. No more crazy outfits at school, no big weekend to look forward to. Though this weekend I am going to Hillsdale for a campus visit with Katelin. It should be cool.

Oh! And one last thing - I'm apparently captain of the softball team! Coach Dave announced it at the meeting last night. Katie Doernenburg, Katelin and I are all captains. w00t!

Ok so I feel sorta guilty now. John DID try calling me... something like 6 times or so. He started worrying when I didn't answer and thought maybe I didn't make it home safely or I was mad at him and didn't want to talk to him. He left me like 4 messages or something... each one sounding more sad and worried than the last. I felt terrible. :( My phone never rang! Not once! I don't understand it. It was on? And it didn't even tell me I had messages or missed calls either! Argh! Technology sucks. I felt bad because I was pretty mean to him about it. I gave him the whole "So thanks for calling me back..." line. I suck.

Oh well, all is good now. It's hollywood nights here for Spirit Week. There's hardly anyone dressed up. I'm really disappointed. Kate Wojan, Katelin Simon and I went all out. We're wearing old homecoming dresses, brightly colored wigs, obnoxious jewelry and feather boas. :D Yes we r0x0r. Everyone keeps looking at me strangely. My wig and boa itch terribly. I really want to change my clothes but that would be letting down my buds. LoL so I guess I will remain loyal and suffer the itchiness.

Tonight we're going to Cadillac for our game. I hope I do better than I did in the Soo. Coach came and talked to me and said he noticed I wasn't acting like myself and that I didn't seem very aggressive. I told him I was sick and he seemed to understand. I hope he did at least. Sometimes he's really hard to read.

Tomorrow's the big finale to Spirit Week - blue and white day. LoL it's sad that it's the highlight of my week at school. Then comes the football game, and the dance on Saturday! w00t! Homecoming r0x0rs! (Simply for the fact that my parents let me stay the night with John on homecoming!) Yay! It's fun falling asleep next to him and then making breakfast in the morning.

Anyways, I'm done boring you now. I'm out like peace! I might be back tomorrow, otherwise I'll catch ya'll Sunday or Monday!

Superhero day is here at last!! And I'm definately one of the biggest dorks at school today. Everybody's costume is all store bought and spiffy (the few who dressed up I mean) and mine is just flowing fabric and some spandex. LoL it's ridiculous. Oh well... people will just continue to give me psycho looks all day.

I really need to get over my senioritis. I didn't do my AP Lit reading (50 pages to be exact) about boring Roman Literature. I get sick reading on the bus, so yesterday on the way to or from the Soo wasn't really an option. Blah. So now I'm behind again in that class. I hope we don't have to discuss or do anything crazy with the reading... that would suck. I also need to work on my sketchbook for art... it's due tomorrow and I haven't even started it. Bah! I have no motivation for anything. Somebody please slap me and tell me to do my homework!!

Last night we lost our game at the Soo. We were winning when there were 2 minutes to go in the half, and then at halftime we managed to get down by 10 points. It was ridiculous. We played hard the second half, but just couldn't get all the way back. We ended up losing by about 9 points. It was a totally winnable game too. Grrrr... our team digs ourselves into holes. It sucked. I felt so sick during the game too... I don't know what's been going on with me lately, but I was hyperventilating and damn near throwing up last night. I played terrible. Only 3 points. Hopefully Thursday goes much better.

John wasn't home when I called him last night, which freaked me out because he said he would be. I called Josh's house looking for him... Josh said he thought John was going home too. About a half hour later I finally got a call from him... I guess he had gone to WalMart or something and it made him later than usual. He talked to me for a little while, then got in the shower and told me he'd call me back "in like five minutes".

I didn't talk to him for the rest of the night. I don't know why, but it kinda ticked me off. It's bugging me that he agrees to do something and then doesn't. I'm just frustrated because there are very few nights of the week that he's home, and when he is I just wish he would talk to me. Maybe I'm being too clingy... I'm just getting annoyed with him never calling me when he says he will. It's not that big of a deal... I'd rather he just never SAID he would call me if he doesn't plan on it. Because once he tells me that he will, I worry when he doesn't. Argh. I need to stop.